Scotland rugby legend Scott Hastings has revealed he felt ‘totally at peace’ when he learned his wife had taken her own life because her suffering was finally over.
The body of Jenny Hastings, 60, was found on her wedding anniversary just days after she vanished in the Firth of Forth when she entered the water at Wardie Bay, Edinburgh.
The mother-of-two, who had made a previous attempt on her life, had been visited by a mental health practitioner just hours before she went for her final swim on September 3.
Mr Hastings, 59, yesterday revealed he returned home from a funeral that day expecting to go for a swim with his wife but she had left, leaving her watch at home.
The former Scotland captain rushed to Wardie Bay, where she regularly went wild swimming, and he saw her bag left there as usual.
But he revealed he felt Mrs Hastings, who did not leave a suicide note, did leave a coded message about her intentions that day.
The devastated husband said: ‘The one thing that was going to save Jenny’s life was her buoyancy aid, and she swam out to this tether buoy out in the Firth of Forth and she took the one thing that was going to save her, she took it off and hung it around the tether buoy and it was, I suppose, a message to me to say that “I got there” and it was okay, she was going to let go. And she let go.
‘I got down there and suddenly realised the situation, I couldn’t see her, and I phoned the coastguard straight away. I knew at that point she’d gone.’
When he was finally told by police that his wife had been found, Mr Hastings revealed he had this ‘unbelievable feeling of warmth’ which left him ‘totally at peace’.
He said: ‘At that point, on my wedding anniversary, I knew she was safe.’
The family later returned her ashes to the Firth of Forth, and Mr Hastings said: ‘That was the moment where she was free. I’ll never forget her.
‘I’m just full of pride for her. She had seven catastrophic episodes in the last five years, and this one just became too unbearable for her.’
The couple have previously spoken of her two decade long mental health struggle.
Mrs Hastings had previously gone missing for 36 hours before being found 10 miles away from her home in Warriston, Edinburgh.
And in 2014 she attempted to take her own life, and at the time said she had ‘just wanted to get away’.
In an emotional interview on BBC Radio Scotland yesterday (THURS), Mr Hastings paid tribute to his ‘incredible’ wife who saw wild swimming as a place she could escape and heal.
He said: ‘She suffered for well over 20 years, and she just got herself into headspace that she decided that was the best option, despite having had visits from doctors within 48 hours and a mental health practitioner had visited literally hours before, but the trickery of the mind is so difficult.
‘I’m utterly broken hearted. She was such a beautiful, loving mother, wife, sister and we miss her dearly.
‘But when she was unwell it was so cruel to witness and watch the distress that Jenny ended up in.
‘And in many respects, lots of people have written to me to say she is at peace and she is at peace, and ultimately I could have lost her 20 years ago.
‘So every time I have a negative thought in my head, it’s replaced with a happy thought.’
After she disappeared a huge search operation was launched, with Coastguard helicopters criss-crossing the water and lifeboats desperately trying to find her.
But Mr Hastings said her body was found on their wedding anniversary, on September 7.
